Top 5 Idiot Types That Need To Be Banned

From State and National Parks

I spend quite a lot of time in both State and National parks. But unfortunately, as nice as some of them are, there are certain types of people who can ruin the perfect outing. I have a very specific top 5 that I wish to share with you. I am sure that some of you who enjoy the outdoors like I do will be able to relate. And if you are one of these 5, please do us all a favor and stay away!

#5: The Radio Playing Butt Nugget

There are a number of morons who are so mentally weak that they must be tethered at all times to their noise. The bad thing is, they seem to think it is okay to force this noise on others. Doing it in the city or on a public street is bad enough. But these people also echo their garbage outdoors. In a park where people come to relax and enjoy nature. To make matters worse, these devices must be turned up louder since they are not confined to a car or inside of a building. Less objects for the sound to refract off of. And so, they play their songs loud enough to be heard for literally miles away. For some reason, these people are incapable of using ear buds or head phones. Its almost as if they purposely want you to be annoyed. This category of useless skin bag is #5 on my list. They will get more annoying as we count down. But the radio player has no business in a natural area. And if I catch them doing it during one of my hunts, their precious radio is going to eat an arrow.

#4: The Smoking Douche Monkey

Smoking in the outdoors is fine. I don't recommend it at all. But outdoors when you want to do it is best. The problem is that EVERY SINGLE PERSON who smokes in the park, ALWAYS litters. I have never in my life seen a smoker who respectfully puts out their cigarette and takes the butt with them, or throws them away. And these morons always have a holier-than-thou attitude about it. As if it is their God-given right to deposit their nasty trash wherever they see fit. Last Summer, I watched as a park ranger was literally screamed at after he caught a person dumping his car's ash tray into a creek. As soon as the worker said something to the offender, the ranger and anyone within a mile got an ear full about how "this is my park! I pay taxes! I can do what I want!". This is not an isolated case either. I have seen similar behavior on quite a regular basis. I would personally be for a ban on smoking on all State or Federal park property. It won't last though. The smoking crack heads won't obey anyway.

#3: The Royal Dog Owner

Dog owners can be some of the most arrogant, cruel, snobby people you could ever come across in the parks, where they obviously think they are a god. These people will prance around a hiking trail like they are somehow elevated above all other visitors just because they are walking with their canines. They demand the right of way no matter what. If someone comes down the trail with a mutt in tow, you had better just freeze in place and let them pass. After all, they are on a higher rung of the social ladder than you are because they have a dog or two...or eight. Also, their animals are left on extremely long leashes, if they are even leashed at all. This allows the mammals to roam freely, getting into everything from garbage cans to someone's picnic basket. Which the owner never apologizes for and certainly won't assist in any cleanup. And if one of these leashless hounds approaches one of us peasants, we are expected to smile widely, ignore the fact that the dog just knocked our tackle box all over the place, and say "ohhh! So cute! Can I pet him?". In fact, these dog people will sometimes purposely allow their pet to run upon strangers just so they can get a response like that. It must feed their ego or something. I always warn people when I see them coming to keep their dog away. I also mention that I am carrying and have a primal fear of dogs, and that I will not hesitate to act on my phobia. That usually does the trick.

#2: The Screaming Bug Victim

There are few things more annoying than a person walking in nature, who is scared of nature. These useless wastes of flesh can be heard long before they are seen. These people walk about in a forest, searching for the next insect to cry about as loud as humanly possible. Cries of "ahhhhh! I think its in my hair!", to "Oh my God! Its chasing me!" echo throughout the woods on a regular basis. Sometimes, teeny boppers do this because they think its cute for some reason. But it isn't. In fact, if someone is screaming at the top of their lungs with every other step because they see a bug where bugs live, they really need to go home and construct a giant bubble like John Travolta or something and stay out of nature. And society. Forever.

#1: The Phone Zombie

And in the #1 spot, we have the phone addicted loser. Sadly, this addiction has infected people so much, that they are no longer capable of shaking it, even when going out into nature. All one has to do is drive through the parking areas in any park entrance. They are often full. However, at least half of the vehicles are occupied. And these occupants are almost always watching Youtube videos, reading Facebook, video chatting with someone else who is likely sitting in a parking lot at a trail entrance too for no reason, or reading an "e-book". These people rarely leave their vehicles. They will sit in a park for hours on end staring at their tech. Later, they finally leave and race home. So they can stare at their tech. There are some who venture out also. And those people can be dangerous. I cannot count the number of times that I have been hiking and noticed other people with their heads kinked forward, staring at a phone while they are walking. They don't pay attention to anything around them and will easily bump into you or walk off of a cliff or something. This is not a generational problem either. What used to largely affect the millennials and zoomers has spread like a virus to all age brackets. Boomers and GenXers are doing the same crap. What is the solution? At this point, I almost wish for an EMP attack. This behavior will not get better without it.

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